Welcome to the 21st Century. This is the day and age of instant information. Many people simply visit their favorite search engine to learn how to fix, repair and restore anything and everything - including marriage. Are you seeking some self help marriage counseling? If so, these pointers will be worth reviewing.
1. Consider Help
If you think you can solve everything wrong in your marriage by taking the self help marriage counseling route consider incorporating tools and techniques from professionals. When you have more information you'll have more choices and when you can make more choices you will stand more of a chance of discovering what does and does not work.
2. About your friends
Be careful about who you share your problems with. Even good friends when put under too much stress will confide what you've told them to their other friends. The last thing you need when trying to solve your marriage problems are rumors on top of rumors.
3. Don't project
When you're looking for a self help marriage solution make sure you're not projecting onto your partner. Many times we'll read things into our relationship based on our own insecurities or past experiences. Rather than project what we think is happening it is vital to discover what is really happening. How do we do that?
4. Communication is Key
Communicating with your spouse is critical to managing any marriage especially when you are seeking self help marriage counseling. One of the greatest problems with any marriage - in fact, any relationship - is communication.
The only way to really know what someone is thinking is to ask. Mind reading, while many of us do it, is dangerous and destructive.
Like projecting, you see something happen and then you leap to a conclusion (based on your own fear or anxiety or lack of self worth). Whenever we judge other people without knowing all the facts we make mistakes that are hard to undo.
5. Is it productive
Many people seeking self help marriage counseling may not want to admit that the marriage just isn't working. Some marriages are worth saving and others aren't.
Ask yourself questions about how you feel in your marriage. Are you happy with your partner? Do you have anything in common? Many times people grow apart and before you jump into your self help marriage solution you should be taking inventory on how you feel.
Grab a piece of paper and do the time tested Ben Franklin. Simply draw a line down the middle of the sheet and on one side list everything that works in your marriage and on the other side list everything that doesn't. Once you have your list notice each topic and jot down a feeling next to it. For example you might have "no time for me" on your list. How does that make you feel? Are you sad about that? Are you angry about that?
The core of a healthy relationship is in how we feel when we're with our special someone. The list helps you see if your special someone is treating you like the valuable and irreplaceable gift that you are.
Relationships, especially marriage, are complicated. It's when we forget the other person, their feelings and their gifts that we begin to take them for granted. Oft times we feel as if we've become an object rather than a treasured companion. With so much information available today many of us probably feel that we can tackle anything - even self help marriage counseling.
